


I'd do this all again (just to get where I am)

by OurEchoes



Category: South Park
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of alcohol, Mentions of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:12:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7789750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OurEchoes/pseuds/OurEchoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes exactly two hours for Eric Cartman's entire grasp of things to fall apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd do this all again (just to get where I am)

"We should shoot up the school."

Kenny chokes on the hit he's just taken. Eric laughs because his face just looks so ridiculously taken aback, as if he expects Cartman to ever suggest something reasonable. When he's done sputtering, Kenny points an accusing finger in Cartman's direction.

"That's not fucking funny, dude." he says, his face quite serious. "I'm not shooting shit."

Eric sighs heavily and flops back against his bean bag.

"Then what the fuck are we going to do? Everything has been so goddamn boring since we started high school!"

Kenny falls next to him, landing on the other bean bag within arms reach. He's got a knowing smirk crooking the corners of his lips.

"We're juniors, dude."

"Fucking _exactly_."

Kenny hums and lays his forearm over his eyes. Eric stares at the smoke still wafting around them. It's sad that the extent of his weekend (and weekday) plans consist of this anymore. Smoking and laying around with Kenny, complaining about the world and the school and whatever else he feels like complaining about.

It's honestly quite routine; every day after school Kenny, unless he has a party to go to or someone to fuck, will just follow Cartman to his truck and go back home with him. On weekends, when Kenny is even a little bit bored, he'll hit Eric up and ask to come over. Eric's become incredibly used to it. It's actually stranger for Kenny to _not_ be around at this point.

He's hesitant to say Kenny is his best friend because Eric doesn't believe in that fluffy bullshit, but he tolerates Kenny.

And if he's being really honest with himself? He _likes_ hanging out with McCormick. Whatever that means, Eric doesn't care.

Kenny suddenly laughs and Cartman looks over to him, wondering if he's somehow much higher than Eric is at the moment.

"What the fuck is so funny, ass wipe?"

Kenny snickers some more and rubs at his eyes tiredly.

"Just thought that if we shot up the school I'd probably shoot every reflective surface and all of the bullets would just come right back at me, not killing anyone else."

Eric tries to not laugh along because that's fucking _stupid_ but it's also totally something that would happen to Kenny. Kid has the worst luck with the whole dying thing.

-

One night, when Eric is mostly asleep but partly thinking about how to set off multiple locker bombs on the football team who wrote 'pig fag' on his gym locker, Kenny tumbles through the window. Eric isn't really surprised by the action, Kenny pretty regularly just comes into Cartman's room and sleeps on the floor.

He _is_ surprised by the overwhelming smell of whiskey that fills his room.

"What the fuck, McCormick?" he says, sitting up and scratching his head. "Why do you smell like piss?"

Kenny stands up, wavering in place, his face black and blue, deep red trickling down his lip. He's grinning wildly, blue eyes dancing in the moonlight. He looks fucking possessed.

"Guess who's homeless?" he says, jerking his thumbs in his own direction. "This guy!"

Eric curses under his breath and stands up, pulling Kenny by the hand to his bathroom. Flipping the light on, he points to the stool in the corner and Kenny sits down instinctively. Eric flips open his cabinet and searches for the first aid kit, taking down a bag of cotton balls as well. While wetting one, Kenny starts sniffling and Cartman tries very hard to ignore the anger boiling in his stomach.

"How about I just shoot your dad, then? If I can't shoot up the school at _least_ give me the pleasure of taking out that fucking shit bag." He wipes the blood from Kenny's lip as gently as possible but Kenny still winces. "Seriously, Ken. It would be my honor."

Kenny feigns something like a smile.

"Nah, he'll die soon enough. His kidneys aren't invincible like mine."

Eric snorts.

"Invincible makes it sound like they're fighting something."

"My horrible life choices, maybe?"

Cartman rolls his eyes and puts a bandage on the outside of his split lip. A few moments later, he's got Kenny as cleaned up as he's going to get.

"I'm sure you already know, but it's whatever if your poor ass wants to stay here tonight. Mom's not gonna care."

Kenny's eyes are still crazy as he looks far away past Eric. He thinks it's not normal for a sixteen year old to look so worn out. When he looks back to Cartman, he just nods his head once. That's how it normally is between them, silent acknowledgements and thanks. It would probably freak him out if Kenny got all mushy and spilled his thanks, anyways.

Eric leads him back into the bedroom after shutting off the light, forgoing the mess until the morning. Kenny moves to the closet to get the blankets but Eric stops him with a hand on his wrist.

"Just get in the bed before this gets weird, okay?" he says. Kenny raises an eyebrow and squints, before realization dawns on him. He walks over to one side of the bed and gets in while Cartman goes to the other. It's a little hotter and there's a lot less room, but something loosens in his chest.

He hates to say that doing things like this might make him feel good, but no ones asking him to say anything, so.

-

It's early, probably around seven or something, when Eric realizes he's alone. Rolling over in bed confirms his suspicions, the other side being conspicuously empty.

He gets up and trots downstairs, the heavenly smell of bacon greeting him. He turns the corner expecting to see his mom, but instead he sees Kenny, head bent over a frying pan. There's another pan on the left stove eye with a beautiful chocolate pancake searing on the surface. Cartman's stomach growls loudly and Kenny turns his head to him with a big grin, one less wild now that he's sober.

"Figured I'd thank you for last night with some breakfast. Hope you like pancakes."

His face looks horrible with all of the bruising and cuts, but there's a gentle kindness to his features and Cartman can't help but think he actually looks _good_ , his mom's corny unused 'kiss the chef' apron draped over his slim frame and his hair curling all over. Something about the domesticity of it should disturb him, but really he's just glad to see Kenny look happy after all the shit he's been through.

"Have you been holding out on me, Ken?" he says, inspecting the deep brown pancakes, seeing that the batter is chocolate, too. "When the fuck did you learn to cook?"

Kenny chuckles, shaking his head.

"Whenever we'd have enough money to buy actual groceries, I always bought the stuff to make pancakes like this. They're pretty much my only specialty, but I can make basic shit." He inspects the bacon with his spatula, deciding to set the pieces off on the plate and turning off both stove eyes. "I took home ec the last two years, remember?"

Cartman pulls down two more plates and piles some food onto both, passing one plate off to Kenny.

"Well thank god you at least make a good house wife. I was beginning to wonder why I kept you around."

Kenny snorts and they both eat in silence, the early hour finally hitting them. When they're finished, Kenny puts the left overs in the fridge while Cartman puts the dishes in the sink. His mom will fuss about leaving dirty plates, but he shrugs it off and goes back upstairs, Kenny trailing close behind.

"Where's Liane?" he says. Eric rolls his eyes.

"Who the fuck knows? Probably fucking the trash man or some shit. It's Sunday, she's never home until at least five."

Kenny doesn't ask and just moves to the closet to get the blanket again. Eric thinks about telling him he doesn't have to sleep on the floor, that he actually kind of likes the heat of another body near him, but thinks better of saying anything. That would be fucking weird.

-

The next few weeks pass much the same.

Kenny stays over at Cartman's almost full time, except for his fuck dates and binge nights, and Liane never really questions it. Eric thinks she just _knows_ , that 'poor white trash' is written all over Kenny's face, but it's a little annoying to him that his mom never even _asks_. It's good or whatever, but what kind of parent lets their kid move their friend in without question?

On nights when Kenny's out, he typically doesn't stroll in until the next morning. Nights like that piss Eric off, honestly. He gets fed up with wondering what's so great about getting hammered with a bunch of assholes Kenny doesn't even like or fucking anything that breathes.

He wouldn't admit it, but he's also fed up with worrying over where he's sleeping or if he's eaten anything. Kenny could probably forgo food entirely, fucking weird powers and all that, but Eric's not naive enough to not realize how fucked up it is that Kenny sometimes does it just to see what it feels like to starve to death.

Eric doesn't _care_ , not really, it's just he doesn't want to have to see that gross shit. Skeletons freak him out and he shouldn't have to see a living one stumbling through his house for a few weeks.

It's one of the rare nights that Kenny comes back before daylight when Eric just snaps.

"Have fun drinking your problems away?" he says as Kenny walks wide eyed up the driveway, obviously surprised by the line of fire directed his way. "Or were you fucking the hobo down the alley for an ounce of crack? I heard he gives a sweet deal if you seal it with a big fat kiss."

Kenny's expression quickly turns from surprised to hurt to pissed.

"Fuck you, fatass." he says, eyes narrowed. Even after all these years it still kind of creeps Cartman out to think about bearing one of those eyes. "I didn't _ask_ to stay here."

Cartman huffs, his words escaping in a quick retort.

"You're right, you didn't."

Kenny looks a little stunned but quickly lets an icy hurt wash over him as he walks away with his hands in his pockets.

Eric knows he should stop him, that he should apologize for being a dick like always, but it's not in his nature to admit his short comings. He watches as Kenny disappears around the corner before going inside with a slam of the door.

-

When Eric goes to school that Monday, he has every intention of avoiding Kenny at all costs. But apparently so does Kenny, because he's just not seen him.

He asks Kyle as nonchalantly as he can but Kyle just shrugs and says he's probably 'just sick again.'

Cartman wouldn't say that he's worried, but it wouldn't be a bad assessment of his state of mind.

-

He finds him in a ditch this time, vultures already picking at his decaying skin. Most people would vomit or cry, but Eric knows better, so he takes a piss on his face out of anger.

-

There's a knock on his window that night and he ignores it for as long as he can. The knocking is persistent, though, so he shrugs out of bed and pulls open the window with more force than is necessary.

"Fucking what?"

Kenny rolls his eyes and pushes himself inside without a word.

"Um. Excuse me, but you're currently breaking and entering. That's a crime, in case you didn't know. I could easily have you arrested."

This makes Kenny just laugh and, okay, so he's not going to call the fucking police but really? Is the expectancy of being welcome necessary?

"Look, okay, I get it. I thought of all the possible angles I could get out of the situation, and realized you're a dick."

Eric thinks maybe it was better when Kenny wasn't talking.

"Wow, really know how to sweet talk a guy, McCorm-"

"Listen, asshole." he says, his hand placed firmly over Eric's mouth. "I finally figured it out. I was so fucking confused at first, like, why would you even care if I was out drinking and fucking? Then it dawned on me."

Eric raises an eyebrow and yanks Kenny's hand off his mouth.

"Yeah? What's that?"

Kenny smiles, his teeth glinting in the dark.

"You _like_ me!"

Eric scoffs.

"Um, what gave you that impression?"

Kenny waves his arms out animatedly.

"All of it! Like, you letting me stay here I thought was just a ploy to keep you from your own boredom, and you helping me out when I was plastered was just because you were disgusted with my face or something. But the letting me stay in your bed? And the annoyance at me doing shit outside of you?" he smirks and bites his lip in triumph. "That's because you like having me around. You _care_ about me. Somehow, in that twisted fucking heart of yours you actually _like_ me!"

Cartman can feel his face heat up and he breathes an annoyed laugh.

"Uh, yeah, whatever. I don't like _anyone_ , Kenny. Don't know when you forgot that. I mean, I literally pissed on your corpse."

Kenny laughs and shakes his head.

"I know, you fucking asshole. That's like, your way of showing affection."

"Pissing on dead things?"

Kenny walks past Cartman and plops onto the bed, slipping his shoes off.

"No, _'you left me and I'm going to be an ass about it'_ is your way of saying you care about someone."

Cartman wants to fight about it, argue and say Kenny's wrong and kick him out of not only his bed but his fucking _house_ , but it's three am and he's got school at nine, so whatever argument he has dies as he quietly slips in beside Kenny.

"Whatever, asshole."

-

Kenny stops going out as much.

He stills leaves some nights and comes back a few hours later smelling like someone else (not that Cartman knows what he fucking _smells_ like), but the typical booze laden nights are done. It's a little weird at first, that he'd actually care about Cartman's feelings or whatever, but Eric's pretty sure he just wants a place to stay.

Somehow, Eric thinks he can tolerate that.

-

It takes exactly two hours for Eric Cartman's entire grasp of things to fall apart.

Kenny buys a twelve pack when they go to the store after school one evening, insisting they celebrate finishing finals until Cartman gives in.

"Just try to get something that tastes a little less like piss."

Kenny smiles that excited way he only does when they're both really high and talking about dumb plans to take over the world so Cartman considers it a win, even if he's not sure what the competition was.

He sees the error of his thinking, though, when he's four drinks in and Kenny is laughing at some dumb lifetime movie. Because for a single moment, he thinks Kenny is insanely beautiful; his eyes twinkling, his freckles scrunched up on his nose, his face tinged pink. And all it takes is that single moment for everything to fall apart.

Because Eric Cartman kisses Kenny McCormick.

It's so quick that he second guesses if it really happened, but the look on Kenny's face makes it plain to see.

"Fuck." Eric says.

"Fuck." Kenny agrees.

And then they're clambering onto each other, desperate hands grabbing at whatever they can.

Kenny's mouth feels like a fucking life line for how badly Eric needs to keep kissing him, warm, dry lips dragging against his before a tongue darts out. He's quick to give as much as he's getting and he bites down on Kenny's bottom lip, feeling it give under the force before he lets go.

Kenny moans with it, seeking out Eric after he pulls away for a moment. He nips the edge of his jaw, warm mouth pressing wet kisses down Cartman's neck. Eric feels like a fucking whore for how loudly he moans, his voice sounding high and pitchy to his own ears, but Kenny seems to be eating it up with how he hums in appreciation.

They keep at it for a few more moments, biting and kissing each other more and more desperately until Kenny moves and, wow, yeah that's his fucking _hard on_ pressing against Cartman's thigh and maybe he shouldn't be surprised because of _course_ Kenny would want to fuck him, but somehow he still is and his breath catches in his throat when Kenny moves to straddle Cartman's lap.

"We're drunk, we shouldn't do this." Kenny says, already pulling his shirt quickly over his head as Cartman latches his mouth onto a deep pink nipple. The nub hardens against his tongue and he runs his hands down both of Kenny's sides, relishing in the shiver it sends through the other boy. "What if this isn't what- what you - nngh- want?"

Cartman pulls off his nipple with a slick pop, staring proudly at the now marked up chest before him.

"Uh, pretty sure this is- this is what I want. Aren't you, like, the king of n-not giving a fuck?"

Kenny smiles, leaning down to kiss Eric deeply, his tongue tracing Cartman's in a way he's only seen in movies and cheap porn. Something about it is incredibly hot and Cartman can feel the worry ease from Kenny's back as he pushes Cartman down onto the mattress.

"Do you want to fuck me?" Kenny whispers as he pulls away. Cartman breathes out and whimpers, trying to form a response.

"Fuck, uh, could you- I just- maybe-?"

A light seems to go off in Kenny's mind because he just huffs a laugh and kisses Eric again, working at both of their jeans. He yanks them off and then glances around distractedly.

"Where's-"

"In the stand, second drawer."

Kenny smirks and rummages for the bottle, turning back and easing off of Eric's lap to move more comfortably between his legs.

"Have you-"

"B-by myself I- uh, yeah."

Somehow in his drunken and nervous haze he seems to get through because Kenny nods and just leans down to press kisses to Cartman's happy trail, pulling down and off his boxers. He squirts some lube onto his fingers and moves one of Eric's calves closer to over his shoulder as he brings his fingers to his entrance.

Cartman feels so fucking heavy, the alcohol and the jumbled mess of nerves in his stomach making him feel like he can't move off of the bed at all, but when Kenny presses two slick fingers into him his whole back arches and he cries out.

Kenny breathes out against his stomach as he kisses along to the movement of his fingers.

"Should have known you'd still be a loud mouth, even in bed."

Eric scoffs.

"Fu-fuck you, Kenny." he says, trying not to laugh at the choice of words. Kenny does anyways.

"Trying to."

He adds another finger then, his hand moving relentlessly. Cartman is grateful for the lack of gentleness in the way Kenny fucks him open, thinks it would be too much and he might do something weird like cry or freak out, but there's nothing forgiving in his quick administrations. Before he's sure he's ready, Kenny leans his head down to Eric's heavy cock, licking off the already built precum and sucking hard before pulling away to slick up his own prick.

"Fuck." Cartman says, his voice airy. "Fuck, Kenny."

Kenny smiles, biting his lip and groaning as he runs the lube down his length once more. There's really not much time to appreciate the sight before he's nudging at Eric's ass, his legs coming up to rest on either side of Kenny and pulling him in of their own accord.

Eric fucking _gasps_ , like a goddamn girl or something, when Kenny pushes into him. He feels like his body might be on fire, or maybe just his fucking insides, but it's the best burn in the world and he feels so full that he's trying not to come right away.

Kenny bites his lip, his breath coming in short gasps as he fucks into Cartman, his pace picking up quickly, and Cartman thinks that this is why so many people want to fuck Kenny McCormick. He looks like a goddamn piece of art with sweat building on his forehead, his shaggy blonde hair bouncing with every thrust, and it's too much, it's all too fucking much so he pulls him into a kiss and tries to keep him there until Kenny's rutting into him like an animal.

He goes to grab his own dick and really only has to stroke it once before he's coming so hard his visions blurs and he can barely register shouting Kenny's name. When Kenny comes a few moments later, he bites down on Cartman's shoulder until he almost draws blood.

They lay like that for a few moments as they both come down, Kenny's warm breath puffing against Eric's neck. Cartman's somehow comfortable like this, Kenny draped over him panting. Something about it feels nice.

"Fuck." Kenny says.

"Fuck." Cartman agrees. He sighs with annoyance when something occurs to him. "Okay, what series of STDS do I now need to be tested for you unprepared fuck?"

Kenny snickers and leans up to look into Eric's eyes.

"Nah, you're good. I haven't had sex since I got shot the other day on the walk home." he grins. "Clean slate, fatass."

-

Kenny stops going out to fuck people.

They don't talk about it, Cartman's really not ready to admit there's anything _to_ talk about, but the occurrences lessen more and more until he's almost always at Cartman's house.

And, honestly, that's okay with Eric. Especially since the sex isn't half bad.

 


End file.
